Crib Notes

Grandma and Grandpa Bano came to visit this evening. Baby Bano fell asleep so, once they left, I took the opportunity to put her in her crib. (After being lightly scolded by G&G Bano for still letting her sleep in her bouncy.) (High school all over again. Except I didn't have a baby in high school.) (But you get my point.)

After I put her down, I went to bed. Mr. Clean decided to stay up because he's incapable of sleeping before 11 PM on weekdays and 12 AM on weekends, despite the fact that I KNOW he's incredibly tired. But he likes to wind down with some television and internet surfing, so it really is a win-win situation. I sleep, he relaxes. No complaints here. Except that I asked him to keep her in the crib. And he didn't.

Granted she did wake up about 15 minutes after I put her down. (She has a lot more freedom in the crib and I think it just kind of feels weird to her.) I figured he'd try to put her back down in the crib though. Nope. At whatever o'clock when he came to bed, he set her next to me on the floor...in the bouncy. Of course, I was basically still asleep so I just let it go. I mean, it's SLEEP, people! Moms, you know what I mean.

She woke up about 3 AM (I'd already woken up at 2:30 AM with profusely leaking boobs, having not pumped for several blissful hours OF SLEEP, so I was still awake from pumping anyway) and I took the opportunity to feed her and then put her IN HER CRIB where she is now. Making noise. And then quiet. And then more noise. (Noise of choice is grunting. Lots of grunting.)

Right now it's quiet. Hopefully it stays that way because we've been going at this for about 45 minutes. Luckily there hasn't been any crying. Yet. (I'm sure I've jinxed myself here. Way to go, Bano.)

At least I can play Farmville while I wait it out.

Eggza-eggza-eczema

I am about 99.9% sure that Baby has baby eczema. She's had a little rash and at first we were pretty certain it was a prickly heat rash. And really, it probably was. But lately she's been getting some of that scaly skin and red bumps--the stuff associated with baby eczema.

Poor thing--yesterday it flared up so bad that I became pretty worried. I hate going to the doctor for something that I can treat at home, so I did some research before calling for an emergency appointment. Turns out that there are a lot of things I can do to remedy the problem. Some things include:

• lukewarm baths every night
• using a very mild, fragrance-free soap at the very end of bath time
• moisturizing her skin right after the bath
• switching to a fragrance- and dye-free detergent

We tried the first three last night and it worked wonders. We happened to have been given some Aveeno Baby Soothing Relief Moisture Cream. I read the front for the first time last night and realized that it actually says RIGHT THERE ON THE FRONT that it helps "soothe and relieve the dryness eczema creates." And you know what? That shit WORKS. About ten minutes after applying the lotion, I noticed a HUGE difference in the redness and protrusion of the bumps. A lot of the bumps went away and the redness toned down by, oh, at least 80%. Her little elbows, which had it the worst and had been really red and bumpy were almost completely back to the normal color. There is still some bumpiness of course, but the texture is smoother and things are looking waaaay better.

(Dear Aveeno, you can send some free tubes of lotion for plugging your amazing product. I won't say no. I'll even do a giveaway. Just keep it in mind. No pressure.)

My sister, SIL, mother, grandfather-in-law, and probably some other family members I'm not aware of, all have eczema. Mr. Clean has allergies. Apparently having close family members with either of those conditions, or with asthma, can mean that it will be passed on to baby. Poor little girl never stood a chance!

I will keep you updated and let you know how this whole eczema thing goes. She has her two month appointment in two weeks. (Really? She's only like six weeks old? I swear she's older. Maybe like 4 or something.) (Okay, obviously not but you know what I mean. I've been home with her for a long time. The days run together. It feels like I've been here taking care of her for a LOT longer than six measly weeks.) Hopefully we've managed to get her delicate little ass regulated by then.

My fat ass is still here

Wow, being a SAHM is...boring. I'm sure part of it is due to the fact that Baby is still, well, a baby. It's not like she does much. Her basic functions are to eat, sleep and shart. She does play a little--we have a "gym" that she lays on and can swat at the toys that dangle from the arch above. (She was even trying to grab them today!) But there just isn't much going on, so there's not much to blog about. Sorry guys!

The one thing that I guess I could spend some time bitching about is my weight. Now that Baby is a month old, it's time to get back on the weight loss wagon. I was actually on it before Baby and had been doing really well. There was a contest I had entered and won at the gym I go to. It started last January (back in 2009) and ended in April. I managed to lose almost 20 pounds (and gain a lot of muscle) at the time. Then I lost about 7 more pounds before finding out I was pregnant July of 2009. Now, after having Baby, I'm pretty much back to the weight I was at before I started the gym contest. This is good in a way because it means I've lost around 25-30 pounds since I had her. It just sucks because I feel like I'm starting all over again. ARGH.

When I was on the wagon, I was really on it. I exercised 5-6 days a week and was eating clean. (Eating clean is when you are eating whole foods--nothing processed or refined.)  I know I'm not going to be able to jump right back in and pick up where I left off but I want to get started. For me, the first step is always getting the exercise into my routine. Once I get that established, eating correctly (and not stuffing my face with everything possible) usually follows easily because I don't want to screw up and basically cancel out the exercise.

This week my goal is to work out at least three times. I think that's a reasonable goal to start with. I'm not willing to impose any other restrictions on myself at this time because who knows what's to come. Things are different now with Baby in the mix and I know I can't just hop off to the gym any time I please, but I miss the way I felt when I was exercising and eating well. It's going to be a process to get back to that point, that's for sure. Wish me luck!

I give in...

Okay, I know you want to see her so...

Here are a couple of pictures of Baby. They're "old" now, because I took them when she was about two weeks old and she's now FOUR weeks old. Holy crap, where did the time go?

(Major bonus: Only five more months of pumping!!!)

(Downside: I still have five more months of pumping. My nips are killing me. That's probably TMI, but that's why you come here.)

Okay...pics...

I realize she looks a little cross-eyed in the second pic, but I can assure your her eyes are normal...and BLUE! I'm sooo glad she got Mr. Clean's blue eyes. I know that babies usually have blue eyes to start out with, but hers seem to keep lightening and don't seem to be turning brown, so my fingers are crossed that I'm right on this one.

(She did manage to get his nose. Did I already say this somewhere? I know I told you I was hoping it wouldn't happen. Well, it did. But it doesn't look too bad. Not that it could look bad. She's freaking adorable. Hopefully it's a mild version of his nose. That would be manageable.)

This week's mission is to look into getting daycare lined up. I'll have to return to work a little early because I coach high school volleyball in the fall. Tryouts start a couple weeks before school starts, so I have to start taking her in early August. Apparently it's VERY hard to get a spot for an infant, so I need to get myself on a waiting list or two right now. I don't even want to think about how much it's gonna cost. Ugh. Luckily Mr. Clean is getting some overtime at work.

Okay, time to go make some coffee and become half human upon its consumption. I'm swooning just thinking about it.

RTT: Multitasking Mommy

I'm ready for Random Tuesday Thoughts, once again! Nice to be back in the swing of bloggy-things...

• I'm learning to type one-handed so I can hold Baby and blog at the same time. It's a slower process but it cuts down on the fussing. Not that she really fusses too much. Luckily. (Knock on wood.)
• Baby is relatively easy-going. She only cries when she's really super hungry or needs to be changed after a nice big shart. (I'm pretty sure she's usually screaming something along the lines of Feed me, bitch! or Change me, bitch!)
• I just fed her and she looks high. Apparently breast milk is her drug of choice. "Intervention," here we come.
• Glee is on tonight!!! Enough said. If you're not a Gleek, you can't understand and I don't expect you to.
• I'm debating on whether or not to post pictures of Baby. I am trying to keep things pretty anonymous on here and posting pictures will definitely hinder that. However, I know you guys would like to see her. (And she really is freaking cute.) Sigh...
• Anyone watch Dexter?  I am a big Dexter fan. When the latest season was on, I kept up with the episodes via On Demand. Then I neglected to watch the last two episodes until it was too late and they weren't on anymore. I was pissed. Luckily they brought the episodes back and I got to finish out the season...and holy crap, it was a doozy! (I won't ruin it in case you haven't seen it or intend to watch it someday.) I also really like True Blood, U.S. of Tara, and Nurse Jackie. (Nurse Jackie is freaking hilarious. This season is already impressing me, and we're only three episodes in. If you have Showtime, you have to check it out. And if you don't, rent season one. You won't be disappointed.)
• So Mr. Clean inquired about the blog...and is reading it as we speak. This should be interesting. 
• Boo Boo (the dog) and Baby are both sleeping. Boo Boo is in Mr. Clean's lap and it's just freaking adorable. I wish I had the camera.
• I bought Mederma for Stretch Marks. Actually Mr. Clean went and hunted the shit down and finally found it at Walgreens. I have a TON of the damn things on my belly now, thanks to Baby. They didn't appear until the last month of my pregnancy. I thought I was home free and then BAM, fucking stretch marks all over my belly.  I really hope it works because those fuckers are UGLY.

That's probably enough random for one day. My last post was pretty random too, so it's like a twofer this week. You are sooo welcome.

Welcome to Motherhood

• My boobs hurt. Pumping sucks. I'm sure it would be just as bad if she was breastfeeding. Oh, and the onset of mastitis, TWICE, fucking sucks as well. Apparently I HAVE to pump every three hours or my boobs will retaliate. Freaking A.
• She makes the cutest faces when she's sleeping. And when she's awake. She's just damn cute.
• She sure shits a lot. Actually, I should say that she sharts a lot. (For those of you not in the know, that's a cross between a shit and a fart.) My god, she is a super sharter. And she alsmost ALWAYS does it when I'm feeding her, so it reverberates through my lap. It has literally STARTLED me several times, it is that loud and powerful. (She gets if from her father. Oh, and she's doing it as I type this. Luckily she's in her bouncy chair. Hopefully it's not another blowout.)
• Only getting to sleep for about three consecutive hours max really blows. Everyone warned me but you can't possibly understand until it's really happening. 
• (I decided to change the diaper. There was no poop. Um...that's some SERIOUS gas kid!)
• Someone asked me if I'm surprised by how many diapers she goes through. No. I am surprised by the number of wipes we've already been through. It's a good thing we got the Costco crate.
• (Oh, she's sharting again. There's the poop I was looking for earlier. Man, that kid can really blow it out her butt.)

Well, time to go pump. Again. And then take a nap while Mr. Clean takes over Baby duty.

The Saga of Baby - The Scary Part

There is absolutely no way I could give every detail about the ensuing days in the hospital because I was sleep deprived and emotionally unstable, so here's a synopsis of the scary shit that happened next.

We ended up in the hospital for essentially three days after baby was born--24 hours is the standard for releasing mommies back into the wild with their newborns. At first it was just that the pediatrician thought she could use some extra recovery time. (I'd had a lot of drugs. Really good drugs.)

Then it turned into something else. She wouldn't freaking eat.

Mr. Clean and I are pigs. Well, that may be a slight over-exaggeration, but not by much. So how this kid came out and would not eat was baffling. I have a feeling it was in large part due to the drugs because she would simply fall asleep at my boob every time I tried to feed her. Most of the time she would latch but then she wouldn't suck. It was the weirdest thing and eventually it became a scary thing because she lost a lot of birth weight. Although it's typical to lose some, she lost too much--at least 10% is when the doctors become concerned. She went from 7lbs 13oz to 7lbs 0.6oz between Monday evening (when she was born) and Wednesday evening, when we were transferred to the pediatric unit of the hospital.

I have never been so emotional. It still makes me tear up and want to cry again just thinking about the whole thing. There were several nurses that were trying to help with breastfeeding from the get go, but all the "help" began to wear on me. Plus, several of the different nurses and lactation consultants were actually giving different instructions or advice, so it was overwhelming and confusing.

Once we'd been transferred to the pediatric unit, we were put on a routine where she had to eat every two hours. This meant I was to try breastfeeding for 30 minutes, then feed her formula if she wouldn't breastfeed (which she wouldn't...so bottle feeding took about 30 minutes), then I would have to pump for 15 minutes. After that I had to wash the pumping equipment and then maybe pee and get to squeeze in a 30 minute nap. We did that from about 9:00 p.m. Wednesday night to like 12:00 p.m. the next day. I was going out of my mind. However, in the back of my mind was I am NOT letting them put a feeding tube in you. Yes, the nurse and the doctor had mentioned this as a possibility if she wouldn't gain weight. No pressure or anything. Jesus, I was a mess when I heard that...and every time I let the possibility slip into the forefront of my mind.

Finally at some point on Thursday, one of the lactation consultants decided that feeding her every two hours and not getting any sleep was CRAZY and pushed it to every three hours. That may not seem like much, but it was a HUGE relief. I had been going on basically no sleep and so was Mr. Clean. We were EXHAUSTED and VERY EMOTIONAL and the nurses and doctors could tell. I think I got to nap for a whole hour at that point. It was glorious.

Thursday afternoon they weighed Baby again to see if she'd gained anything. We were on pins and needles. We wanted to take her home so badly--to get out of that god forsaken hospital and become real people again. And we desperately wanted to hear that she was healthy. (Doesn't every mom want to hear that?) The results...she'd gained 4.4 ounces in just 12 hours. We were ecstatic. Surely this had to mean we could go home! But we had to wait for the on call pediatrician to tell give us the final word.

Luckily, he agreed that she was ready to go home. Besides that, she needed to be out of his "dirty ward" with all the germs and unhealthy children. She was a healthy baby and didn't belong there anymore. HELL YES! We were going home!

Baby eats plenty now. My milk came in about day five, so we could stop supplementing with formula and give her breast milk. She still would not take the breast so I gave up and we bottle feed. (I have to pump which blows but I am willing to make the sacrifice for her cute little butt.) It's fine with me because it's so convenient, plus it also allows her to bond with Mr. Clean during feedings.  (He is so damn good with her. It's freaking adorable.) As proof of her chunkiness, she was at 8 lbs 6 oz at her two week visit and I am pretty sure she's gained plenty more since then.

And, as if on cue, guess who's hungry?

The Saga of Baby - Part Two of The Birth

Let's see...looks like I left off with wanting to take a poo and the nurse wanting me to practice pushing. Hmmm.

So, we got into position--mom holding one leg and Mr. Clean holding the other--and started pushing on the next contraction. (Mr. Clean did not "look under the hood," in case anyone is wondering. I think that was probably a wise decision on his part.)

Here was the nurse's reaction: "Wow, you're a really effective pusher!" She said this more than once during the first couple of pushes.

The problem with this? After two pushes (well, two sets I guess, since you push around 3 times per contraction) she was a little worried because I was TOO effective. Baby was COMING and the doctor was still moseying on over. Oops. So on the next contraction I was instructed to just relax and not push.

Luckily the doc arrived moments later. Have I told you that he reminds me of Chef on South Park? Big black guy with a deep voice, very relaxed and cool. Oh, and he looks like chef too! He even said something about getting "G'd up" and ready for the delivery. (My mom recalls this--I was a bit drugged out.)

(I have to digress a little here. Earlier in the day the doc didn't have time to come see me when he thought he would. My sister's quip? That he must be "busy saving the world, one vagina at a time." God she's hilarious.)

Back to pushing. Once the doc was G'd up and ready for me, I had to push maybe 4 or 5 more times--yes, really!--and wallah, a baby came out! Unfortunately, she decided to come out like superman in his "up, up and away" mode--one fist in the air. Guess what that meant for me? TEARING. Ugh. So I have stitches. DOWN THERE. Not fun. I think I already mentioned this meant minus points for Baby. (But she gets like +1,000,000 because she's so damn cute now.)

When she came out, it was kind of like having a bowling ball sitting on your abdomen for about 3 months and then someone finally takes it off.  Such a relief!

So Baby was here and healthy, but unfortunately things went downhill from there for a couple of days. That's coming next. (Don't worry too much--we are back on track and everything is all good in the 'hood now.)

The Saga of Baby - Part One of The Birth

The week Baby was born was CRAZY. That's the easiest way to describe it. If I had to use every adjective that would apply, we'd be here for a while.

I went in to the hospital Sunday evening under the impression that I was being given meds and then coming back on Monday. WRONG. They were giving me cervadil (sp?) and I was being ADMITTED. Oops. Luckily I had planned ahead and had Mr. Clean pack the car with everything we were going to bring anyway, just in case. It's a good thing I got that "just in case" gene from my mother. It came in handy.

Once I kind of settled into my room, we discovered I was beginning contractions on my own. I have a feeling that unexpectedly being admitted had something to do with it, but at least they didn't have to give me the meds to get things started. So they let me continue because I was making enough progress. I did start to get some anxiety and feeling shaky so they ended up giving me something to take the edge off. Remember how I was thinking I didn't want the narcotics? FUCK THAT. The drugs were awesome and allowed me to relax and get a little sleep.

Then they started the pitocin at 5 AM Monday. I started having stronger contractions and at one point was ready to KILL someone for my epi. They wanted me to be at least 3 cm dilated and I was only at about 1 1/2 or 2 so I had to wait about an hour. That last hour was excruciatingly painful. I remember trying to think of what to compare it to and somehow the best I could come up with is that it's like having the worst charlie horse of your life but it's stretched across your stomach and it's about a thousand times more painful. Anyway, after an hour the nurse checked me again and I was so close that stretched me to 3 so I could finally get numbed up.

Getting the epi was interesting and irritating. The anesthesiologist tried to administer it while I was lying down on my side but it was too difficult for him to find the right spot so I had to sit up. Plus, I had to be PERFECTLY STILL while he was poking me a thousand times in the back AND I was having ridiculously strong contractions. I don't know how I did it, but I did (Mr. Clean was very helpful and supportive during the epi) and once it took over, I was out like a light. I wasn't feeling the contractions and could finally get some good rest so I totally did.

I woke up around three or four hours later and although I could still feel the pressure of the contractions, I was okay pain-wise. The epi was going to be gone soon though, so the nurse debated whether or not to have the anesthesiologist give me an extra (albeit much smaller) dose to get me through. They ended up doing it, but I guess my blood pressure and the baby's heart rate increased slightly. My mother was in the room and noticed this and the nurse had me lay on my side which helped. My blood pressure was something that we had been monitoring quite a bit during the birth because it had elevated a bit a couple of times.

After just a bit, the nurse checked me and I was fully dilated so she called the doctor to have him mosey on over soon. (His office is just across the street from the hospital.) She asked if I felt the need to push and I didn't, so we waited a bit. Later she asked again, and I have to tell you the only thing I felt like I was ready to push out was a good poo, so I asked her if that meant anything which apparently it DID. Who knew? So she wanted to try some practice pushes, which was fine with me. Hey, let's get this show on the road!

To be continued...

A Baby Is Born

Baby is officially here! She was born yesterday in the evening after many hours of contractions, not too much pushing and a whole lotta stitches. (Someone decided to come out Superman style, causing mommy to tear. Minus points for you, Baby.)

I feel like I ran a marathon that I was NOT trained for. Everything is sore, from my legs to my shoulders and everything in between.

She looks just like her daddy when he was born. Lots of strawberry blond peach fuzz on her head, blue eyes, and that dreaded  nose. I thinks she got my lips. Not sure about those ears yet...we'll have to see how they turn out.

I'll post more later. The endless stream of visitors, nurses, and other interrupters never ends...

Scattered Thoughts

Since I won't be around much, here are some scattered thoughts (a little like an early RTT if you will) to tide you over...

1. Mr. Clean likes to do the following to my pregnant belly:

• Rub it and ask if I'm smuggling watermelons.
• Rub it and say, "There's a cantaloupe in there."
• Put his hand on it in the middle of the night and feel for baby kicks. Sometimes this becomes rather uncomfortable, but I pretend I don't mind because it's so dang cute.
• Kiss my belly and talk to the baby. He usually asks her questions like, "Whatcha doin' in there?"
• Feels my belly button (which is still an inny, thank god) and asks if my "turkey timer" has popped out yet.
• Pretend to press my belly button and that, in doing so, my vagina essentially explodes and the baby comes out too. Sound effects and all.

2. I will be buying stock in Mederma. I didn't have any stretch marks up until this last month. And now that she's overdue, they've basically doubled. Thank you so much, Baby, for my newfound sexiness. Argh.

3. I keep seeing the commercial for the new Lysol soap dispenser that you don't have to touch. Their ad is all about how incredibly germy a regular soap dispenser is so why on earth would you want to touch it? Oh my god--germs!!!

Here's my line of thinking: Once you get the soap on your hands (and possibly some germs from that doggone regular soap pump), YOU WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS. And if you do it right, the germs are gone. I think people are just too fucking dumb to put the sequencing together--or incredibly germophobic.

4. If I have to see that "potty dance" commercial one more time, I may scream. Why is there some random old guy playing guitar and teaching your kids how to do the potty dance? isn't that a bit creepy? And by the way, I have DONE the potty dance and it does NOT look like that. It looks like jumping up and down with my legs crossed while I pray that I don't pee my pants. He's leaving vital parts of the dance out. That just ain't right.

5. Avert your eyes if you're allergic to TMI... Okay, you were warned. I lost my mucous plus in the wee hours of the morning (which I discovered when I went wee wee at my typical 2:30 AM time). Then I started having some mild contractions through the next couple hours but I managed to kind of sleep through them. I woke up ravenous at about 5:30 AM, had some cereal, went back to bed, tossed and turned for a bit, and finally fell back asleep. Then I woke up at 9:30 AM completely ravenous once again and also with a few mild contractions. Perhaps having contractions makes a pregnant woman hungry? Anyway, I am hoping this (the contractions part of it) means that Baby plans to come today and that I won't have to be induced after all. (Probably wishful thinking, but I'm used to the disappointment by now.)

Spin Cycle: Behind the Scenes @ Bano Bits

Behind the scenes, huh? Like there's something special or amazing going on that people are dying to discover? Sorry folks, it's like Oz here--just little old me behind a curtain with a big booming microphone known as the blogosphere.

My blog started out as a few different things. At one point it was going to be a way to let family and friends know what was happening in my life. However, since no one really read it (and since I very rarely updated it), that fell to the wayside. Later I picked it back up as a way to share my art and photography, but again, if no one knows you exist, there's really no point.

Baby is what really got things moving for me blog-wise. I had been reading some "mommy blogs" out there and just loved how they expressed their trials, tribulations, joys and celebrations on their sites. The humor and wit kept me coming back. I wondered, Hey, could I do that? Well, maybe I wasn't going to make anyone laugh as hard as some of you guys have made me laugh, but I figured it would be a fun experiment. Plus, it was a great way to express what I've been going through with the pregnancy. I hoped for feedback from others and, much to my surprise, I got some.

I like blogging but sometimes I wish I could say more, especially about work. There are some days I just need to VENT about that place! Buuuuut, VodkaMom has been put through the ringer due to sharing too much about work and had some great advice about how to avoid letting it happen to you. I took the advice and also decided that having pseudonyms would help ensure that I don't become "discovered," although I'm sure someday it's bound to happen anyway. Fortunately I'm not Dooce or anything, so I doubt anyone I know is going to find this place, put two and two together, and out me to the world. I mean, they'd actually have to FIND it first!

That's pretty much it. I intend to keep blogging now that I have a little community that I enjoy sharing with. Baby will probably make it difficult to keep up with (if she ever comes...) but I know you all understand. That's part of what makes the community so awesome. Support from strangers--who would have thought it would be so important to me?!

You'll be the first to know

No, I am not having a baby yet. And the next person who calls or Facebooks or texts me to ask is going to get punched in the face. Because guess what, people? This is the 21st Century and I will LET YOU KNOW, I promise. I have a cell phone, the hospital has wireless for my laptop, and I am pretty sure that they also have those ancient things called phones (you know, the ones that rely on a land line?). So again, I WILL LET YOU KNOW. The reason I haven't called to let you know? BECAUSE NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

And why is everyone trying to tell me how to get Baby out of the womb? I'm not all that earnest to evict her. She'll come when she's ready. I swear ten people today had advice for me on the various ways to get her to make her debut. I DIDN'T ASK. Shit, my due date isn't even until tomorrow. I know they mean well, I really do, but (once again...seems like a recurring complaint) it's just freaking annoying.

I am not-so-eagerly anticipating all the unsolicited advice I'll start getting once she finally does arrive. If you think I'm bitchy now, just wait. Start looking for people with black eyes in my neighborhood.

RTT: It's been a while

Dude, I'm exhausted and I haven't even DONE anything. Baby is due Saturday and I can tell we're getting close. Not because I'm dilated or anything though. (Oh no, things are closed up tight. She's patiently waiting for her eviction notice. It'll probably take an act of congress to get her out.)

So me being tired is really why I haven't blogged. Plus, there's not much going on. Life is surprisingly boring right now. (I know, I know. Just wait a few days or so. I'll be eating those words with a side of crow. And hopefully washing it down with a glass of wine.)

Anyone notice I use parenthesis a lot? I love them. My mind wanders a lot and I have all these little "asides" that I feel I must add. Parenthesis are helpful little containers for my randomness. (Anyone remember that song that was like "I love you period/do you love me questions mark/please, please exclamation point/I wanna hold you in parenthesis"? My parenthesis comment made me remember that song. Hmmm.)

There is one parapro where I work that pops into my room every morning and exclaims, "You're still here?!" Um, yeah. I am. If I wasn't, you wouldn't see me. DUH. I know she's just checking in and all, and she really is a nice person, but GOD IT'S ANNOYING AS HELL. Last time I just said, "Yep, I'm here until I'm not here." Because, well, DUH.

A friend is in labor at the hospital and is updating her Facebook every once in a while which I think is AWESOME. Seriously. I can't be there but I can stalk her via Facebook. Plus, now I know that we get free wireless at the hospital. I'm totally bringing my laptop and you'd better believe I will be updating my Facebook status with every contraction. Shit, maybe I'll even blog about how painful it is and WHERE ARE MY FUCKING DRUGS?!? The world needs to know.

Three whole paragraphs without parenthesis. Go me! (What are the odds? Oops. Shit.)

Is it pathetic that I am VERY excited that the dresser we want to get for Baby's room is on sale at Target this week? We were going to get it the week before but decided to wait until Mr. Clean gets paid tomorrow since we were already blowing $125 there that day. (Target and Costco are IMPOSSIBLE to get out of for less than $100. It's a scientific fact. Look it up.) The dresser is like $40 off this week and I am super stoked we waited. It must be a sign...that I need to go spend more money at Target.

Okay, that's all I've got today. Pretty much nothing. Do yourself a favor and go visit someone from my list on the right because they are MUCH more interesting and funny than I am.