Things that make me go "!!!"

So, if I understand this whole !!! thing correctly, I get to post about the things that make me go !!!. I think I'm supposed to include photos, but I'm just too lazy/EXHAUSTED for that this morning. I can barely walk straight and avoid putting BB's diaper on backwards.

Considering that motherhood has made me easy to please these days, the list could potentially be miles long. I'll try to contain my !!!...

• Any night when I don't have go get up with BB more than two times. This has been rare as of late, but I got one last night. She woke up at 1:30 AM and 5:30 AM. It still sucks but it's better than the 1:30, 3:30, 5:30, 7:00 crap she pulled Sunday night.
• BB naps. She's taking one right now. I should be taking advantage and getting some extra sleep. Damn you, Blogger!
• The rice in her milk is starting to work. She's slowed down on pounding back bottles like a frat boy. Thank god. My boobs were starting to get scared.
• I lost 2 pounds this week. I had to exercise 4 times to get there (insert exhausted face here), but hey, the scale is finally moving in the right direction.
• The new coffee stand down the road is (A) easy to walk to in about 10 minutes and (B) has a daily special from noon to 4:00 PM that makes me !!! all over the place. A 24 oz. iced latte or mocha for--get this--only $2! HEAVEN. (Unfortunately this does not help with losing weight. I'd probably have lost more if I could learn to avoid these.)
• Baby laughs. She's done it a few times and it's absolutely adorable. She still melts my heart. <3
• Mr. Clean got me a new car stereo for our anniversary (9 years at the end of July), which should be here today. There wasn't anything wrong with my old one, per say. But the new one will...(drumroll)...play my iPod! Woot! I've tried those stupid tuner thingies that you use the static-y radio station to play the iPod through but they never worked very well.

That's enough !!! for now.

She's a maniac, maaaaniac on the floor. And she's eating like she's never eaten before...

Baby Bano is eating like a MANIAC! Good lord, she's hungry every hour--HOUR!!!--and eats an entire 4 oz bottle. My boobs can't keep up with that! Whose can? (Maybe Wonder Woman. Does she have Wonder Boobs and Wonder Milk? Where can I get some?)

So today, I decided: it's time for rice.

The pediatrician had suggested starting the rice at 4 months, but he obviously had no idea that I would be giving birth to a baby with a black hole for a stomach. (I think she's on the right track to become a competitive eater.) And obviously that black hole developed over time because she wouldn't eat when I first gave birth to her.

Because I am one of those moms, I got her the organic rice. I figure for another dollar and change, I'll spare her the pesticides. I used to think organic was a little silly but I recently read the article (haven't we all by now?) that shows a link between pesticides and ADHD. Mr. Clean and I are pretty "chill" people, and having a kid with ADHD might break down the few wits we still have about us.  (I've discovered you lose many of your wits once you give birth. I think newborns absorb them through their skin when you hold them or something.)

Feeding BB the rice was a little tricky, but we figured out that the bottle method is much easier than the spoon method. This was all trial-and-error, with mostly error. First I tried mixing the rice and breast milk in a dish and using a baby spoon. She mostly pushed it around her mouth and out of her mouth. Hmmm. So the next attempt was to use a Nuk bottle with a #2 nipple, with the theory that the opening was large enough for the rice to fit through. (The mixture was mostly milk and only a bit of rice.) And the theory was correct, but BB was all like, "What that fuck is that? Because I only drink from Dr. Brown's bottles and this is NOT a Dr. Brown's bottle. Get that shit out of my mouth." (She's got a mouth like a trucker already.) (She takes after her mother.) Plus, she was practically drowning because the milk/rice mixture was essentially pouring out the the #2 nipple. So we crossed that method off the list pretty quickly.

The final method (which we only got to try for about five seconds because she was PISSED OFF at this point) was to have her drink the thin mixture through the Dr. Brown's bottle. (We may need to get the #2 nipples though.) I have NO idea if it worked because she basically told me to fuck off again. (It went something like, "Mom, quit fucking with me! I am TIRED and you keep trying to feed me this weird shit and all I want to do is sleeeeeep!" But it sounded more like "Waaah!" Scream. "Wah, ahhhhh!" Scream, sob, etc.) Luckily, she was so tired that once a pacifier was administered, she pretty much passed out from all the effort.

My theory is that I'll add a tablespoon of rice to her bottle in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one before bed. My theories about this kind of stuff usually suck though, so if you've got any other suggestions or advice, I'm all ears.

RTT: A kick in the pants. Or the balls.

I'm late. Again. I have a baby, therefore I have a built-in excuse. (I intend to take advantage of this for as long as I can.)

Here's some random for ya:

Baby Bano is probably teething, even though she isn't even three months old yet. She's been getting fussy in the evenings and has even gone on a screaming/crying rampage two nights this week. Of course, I was either asleep or not at home during those times, so it could also be that she just doesn't care much for Mr. Clean, but I highly doubt it.

I finished a book last night. It's from the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich. A friend got me hooked several years ago and I've been reading them ever since. They are really good...at least the first 13 were. The book I finished was number 14 and I think it's time for the series to be done because the plot was as weak as the coffee at Denny's and the climax was about as exciting as watching my daughter drool. Part of me wants to read the next two anyway (I think there are 16 now), mostly because the female lead has two male romantic interests and I want to see what happens. But after reading that, I'm worried the remainder of the series is gonna suck. Guess I'll be borrowing from the library instead of buying them this time.

I took some REALLY cute photos of BB yesterday.

Isn't she adorable?! I just freaking love her. And she has gotten waaay cuter as she's "unsquished." She was, well...let's just say "not as cute"...when she first came out. Yeah. Let's just say that.

I've been extremely lazy about this whole "better haBITS" thing. Hasn't happened. It's not easy to head off to the gym or plan meals when you have a baby, although it's a lot easier now than it was the first month or two. Anyway, I'm pretty sure Mr. Clean is tired of seeing me in the same four t-shirts that are the only ones that fit (two of which are his) (that are too big on him) (!!!) so he's trying to give me a gentle nudge in the right direction. Gotta love a man that wants you to be happy and healthy, even if it's at the risk of being kicked in the balls for trying to hold me accountable for eating ice cream and pizza. (Okay, I don't actually kick him in the balls. I do want another kid someday.) (Someday in the NOT near future, just to be clear.)

The TiVo is in BB's room so that I have good shows to watch while I pump. Last night I paused the show and just left the TV on. Bad idea. At 2 AM, I hear the TiVo's reboot music through the monitor, and it's LOUD. Because I'm already hard of hearing and I always have the volume turned up to "deaf old woman." Well, BB is not a deaf old woman and guess who woke up? Damn. Luckily she went back to sleep after a bottle and a butt change. And I learned a very important lesson: TV off when BB is sleeping!

Well, that's all the random I've got this time. BB is awake from her early AM nap so I'd better go act like a mom or something.

My life in (con)TEXT

Today's text...

Mr. Clean: How about you, me, and a box of Franzia?

Me: I don't know about the Franzia. A bottle of wine might be nice though.

Mr. Clean: But the box is more romantic.

Just sayin'

I'm almost certain that BP installed Baby Bano's blowout preventer. No wonder it doesn't work.

RTT: Button, button, who's got a button?

I made a button for my blog. God, it's ugly. Fugly, really. But at least I finally did it. I've been telling myself I was going to do this for, like, weeks. Maybe even a month. And last night I finally did it. Patience is obviously not something I had a lot of at the time. The truly sad thing is that it actually took me like 45 minutes to make it. Go check it out on my sidebar. Or maybe not. I'd hate for you to go all blind and shit when the fugliness burns your retinas right out of your skull.

This is going to be a very busy week. Actually, make that a busy month. My summer coaching duties always begin in June. We host a week of middle school camp, then have a week of spring practice, and close the month with a week of a pretty intense camp for the girls. That's just June. After that I've got to coach summer league one night a week and hopefully make it to open gym once a week as well until the end of July. This is all normally no problem, but now there's a BABY mixed into the equation. That means finding babysitters for all of these days and evenings. Luckily we've got a good chunk of willing victims family around who are more than happy to watch Baby Bano for a couple of hours. They're all still under her spell because they don't live with her. (Okay, okay, I'm still under her spell, too.)

I haven't showered since Saturday. Even I am grossed out by this. Once BB falls asleep, I plan on using every ounce of hot water in the house to remedy the situation.

In case you didn't catch my last post, BB has discovered her hands and feet. If you ask her, she'll tell you that They. Are. AMAZING. She is absolutely fascinated, especially by her feet. Her left leg is sticking straight up in the air right now and she is STARING at her foot. (How the hell does she do that? It's like advanced pilates or something.) Her hands (fists) get shoved into her mouth at any and every chance. Apparently they are a delicious snack. (Tastes like chicken!) She gets all cross-eyed looking at them when they are right in front of her face.  Apparently it's pretty normal--the eye thing--but it sure freaked my shit out the first few times she did it. Mr. Clean had some "eye issues" when he was born and I've been paranoid as hell that BB will inherit them. It's quite a sight, really: eyes all jacked up, shoving her fists into her mouth with one leg in the air while speaking in tongues. "Yep, that's my kid! Isn't she talented?"


That's all the random I've got. Hop on over and visit the UnMom if you've got time and want a good laugh.