Friday, March 12, 2010

You'll be the first to know

No, I am not having a baby yet. And the next person who calls or Facebooks or texts me to ask is going to get punched in the face. Because guess what, people? This is the 21st Century and I will LET YOU KNOW, I promise. I have a cell phone, the hospital has wireless for my laptop, and I am pretty sure that they also have those ancient things called phones (you know, the ones that rely on a land line?). So again, I WILL LET YOU KNOW. The reason I haven't called to let you know? BECAUSE NOTHING IS HAPPENING.

And why is everyone trying to tell me how to get Baby out of the womb? I'm not all that earnest to evict her. She'll come when she's ready. I swear ten people today had advice for me on the various ways to get her to make her debut. I DIDN'T ASK. Shit, my due date isn't even until tomorrow. I know they mean well, I really do, but (once again...seems like a recurring complaint) it's just freaking annoying.

I am not-so-eagerly anticipating all the unsolicited advice I'll start getting once she finally does arrive. If you think I'm bitchy now, just wait. Start looking for people with black eyes in my neighborhood.


VandyJ said...

Hope your little one decides to make her debut soon. Take heart in the fact she is so very easy to carry around right now (and no crying-bonus!) Look forward to hearing about said debut.

ck said...

Have you tried bouncing on a palates ball? How about consuming spicy food? Have you slept sitting up?

AHHHHH - seriously? My second daughter was almost a week late. I stopped answering my phone.

Because I tell you, no one has the important information. Like how to get the baby to go back in when you've had enough.

Heather said...

Isn't it awesome how being pregnant somehow means everyone and their aunt now have the right to give unsolicited advice. My husbands gay boss told him to take me for a ride on a bumpy road to get my labor started...where in NYC are we going find a bumpy road?!

Good luck...whenever your little girl decides to make her entrance. It is an indescribable feeling when you hear your child's first cry and you get to see them for the first time. Enjoy the ride!

Casey said...

You're in for a fucking lifetime of advice, look out. It sucks and I've gotten pretty good at telling people to go fuck themselves. It's fun, try it.