Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Warning: TMI

Here it goes. If you are unwilling to read about peeing, pooping, and heartburn, RUN NOW.

Okay, you had your chance. It's go time.

I am so glad I am in my last month of this pregnancy. It's really been pretty mild and hasn't given me too many problems...UNTIL NOW.  Here are the fun things I am dealing with:

1. Every morning at 2 a.m., I wake up with the worst heartburn EVER. The thing that wakes me up is the acid reflux--everything "refluxes" right into my mouth so I basically ALMOST THROW UP but manage to wake up the split second before anything escapes.  Then I have to sit up, belch LOUDLY (I could probably compete with some beer guzzling frat boys at this point), and take a half-dozen Tums.

Oh, Tums are my best friend lately. I love them. I never leave home without them. There's a bottle by the bed and one in my purse. (And I make Mr. Clean buy the Smoothies because the other kinds are just gross.)

Next time I have a doctor's visit, I am asking for a prescription for some sort of antacid or whatever will prevent me from throwing up in the mouth every night and suffering the inferno that constantly brews in my esophagus.

2. Around the time I am done downing my Tums, I realize I have to pee. So I prop myself up, roll over, sit up, and get out of bed. It's a fucking PROCESS to get out of bed. I long for the days I could just jump out of bed like there was nothing to it. I feel like the giant blueberry girl on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory when the oompa loompas roll her away.

3. At about 4 a.m. my body decides it now needs to poop, and no it will not wait, you need to poop NOW. So I have to wake up and take a poo or I feel sick. Ain't that grand?

The benefit to this new schedule of bodily functions is that I'm up every 2 hours, so when Baby arrives I'll already be prepared for her feeding schedule. I still have a month of this crap left though. Hopefully I can maintain my sanity (and not throw up all over Mr. Clean in the middle of the night due to the acid reflux).


Casey said...

Blech, I DO NOT MISS pregnancy. I hated those stupid women who bragged about what a beautiful experience it was. I wanted to punch them in their beautiful faces.

You're in the final stretch. Be happy that you have the ability to relax (reflux aside) in peace. The second pregnancy will be WAY worse since you'll be chasing a kid and can't sit still or rest for one second.

If it makes you feel better, with Graham, I puked all day/every day the entire time. So much that I lost 30lbs during the first 5 months of pregnancy. With Elliot, I had double the amount of amniotic fluid and literally got stuck in a restaurant booth once.

You're almost there, stay strong.

gretchen said...

You are absolutely right. I have for many years been of the belief that the whole "waking up every 2 hours to pee" thing during pregnancy was absolutely natures way of preparing your body for waking up to feed the kid. It's really true. Before I had my son, if I woke up in the middle of the night, good luck getting back to sleep. But during pregnancy, I managed to kind of train myself to go back to sleep. Something that will be invaluable when you have a newborn!

VandyJ said...

I'm not sure I remember what afull night's sleep is any more. Bruiser is a year old and still not sleeping well consistantly. At least when the baby is here you get to shuggle with them and can move easier.